The Devil’s Dozen + TBR’s Top 10 Metal drummers
First up in our installment of our “Devil’s Dozen” honoring the greatest Metal musicians of all time: Drummers. The object of much ridicule, a great drummer can… hit things with a stick better than the next man. If that’s not cause for fanfare and celebration, I don’t know what is! (see our selected drummer jokes at the end for more drummer bashing)
In all seriousness, our criteria are somewhat subjective. For all the drummers and other illiterates out there, that means we picked who the fuck we like. You will no doubt find that there are plenty of other great drummers are entirely absent here as well. For example, I don’t give a shit about Mike Portnoy, because Dream Theater are for fucking nerds.
Here are a few more thoughts on what it takes to make the cut here:
There are a number of great drummers out there (who shall remain nameless) that have either made careers as hired guns or have wound up playing for bands who were chasing past glory. It says nothing about the quality of their playing, but I’m setting the bar high in that regard as well. Those who have founded or stayed with a great band, recorded classic albums or were there to help blaze the trail in the early years are rewarded.
You can still be great – even if you’ve toiled away in obscurity – but when it comes to that highest standard of greatness, name recognition counts for something. That’s gonna give some people a hit of heartburn in places, but fuck ‘em, I say.
Finally, there is also a strict “No Bozos” policy in effect. (See fig. 1 below).
If there’s anyone I’ve forgotten or you think that you list is better, you can either kiss my ass or post your own choices in the comments section. Let’s giddy up!